➤ As a frog, they say, I can't feel the pond in which I live warming up. Anyone who claims this, is certainly not an amphibian, let alone a frog. I can feel it, and it worries me. When I look at my spawn, I tremble. Soon, my dear amorphous ones will break out of their shape and become my equals. But what kind of pond will they find themselves in? One that is shrinking, and with ever dwindling levels of oxygen.

Couldn't our species, impelled by everything those gruesome humans have caused, find a quicker way to adapt to changed circumstances, changing circumstances? What if my spawn were suddenly able to fly? Loads of space up in the sky, and as amphibians we like air, too. We, frogs, are many things at once. Fluidity is our middle name, we are our own lube. We can swim, jump, fall down and go on again. But we can't fly.

Wouldn't it be a beautiful sight, if our spawn were to rise up into the sky, like little air balloons, and excite wanderlust in humans? Wouldn't this be a solution for many creatures on earth — going up into the air? To the colder air layers, into the stratosphere, where we don't harm anyone. The webs between our toes should be able to morph into wings. If the words are so alike, why not the things themselves?

"What about dying?" I hear you ask. Won't it rain frogs from the sky? Imagine a dead toad landing on your iPad!
We could use the diversification of species to our advantage. The red-eyed tree frog, for example — just putting something out there — could provide end-of-life care, by plucking dying members of adjacent species out of the air and swallowing them in one gulp. This apparently cannibalistic sky ritual might seem perverse, but it could be a prime example of circular economy.

I even briefly considered having ourselves processed into green biscuits after our deaths — from frog to biscuit is a small leap — so as to quell many a famine amongst humans. However, it feels rather counterintuitive to give something back to the humans, after they ruined us. Vengeance is a dish best served cold. Let us keep our heads cool and not build too many castles in the sky.